“We are not of those who shrink back and are destroyed, but are of those who have faith and preserve our souls.” This verse from Heb12, along with several others in that chapter and chapter 10, has been following me lately. I mean, it’s come up in multiple conversations in various settings. Gotta love HS moving.
The first time it come to my mind was last week while I was eating breakfast. At the time it was right at about a year ago that I had been studying these chapters and I had been reading in ch 12 about discipline. I love this book, by the way. I love that it is written to Jewish background believers as an encouragement while they are struggling. In ch 12 the author reminds them of how much discipline sucks for a short time but what it yields is worth it. When I was studying it last year, I called my brother- whom I love and respect so very much- and discussed these passages with him. This is what I learned: I always thought this discipline was the reproof kind, but it turns out it encompasses so much more. It includes training a son up in the way He should go- teaching Him the family trade. It is hard to be rebuked. It is hard learning something new (even if you’ve grown up watching your Father do it every day). It takes time to master skills and grow in knowledge and understanding. “So for a moment all discipline seems painful rather than pleasant, but later it yields the peaceful fruit of righteousness to those who have been trained by it.” Learning new things is hard. Being molded is hard. But we press on towards righteousness.
I am an infant here. I am learning how to talk (new language- thank you tower of Babel), how to walk (and not get hit by a car or fall in a ditch), how to dress (in traditional clothing), and yes even how to eat (with the right hand and never the left). I am an infant. And it’s hard-a hard that I don’t know how to really explain it. But the peace that comes in the midst of it, knowing that He is WITH me and that He is above and over it all- He is in control- is also unexplainable.
The illustration He gave me about a year ago was that of working a muscle. When you are lifting weights, the point is to push yourself just a little bit past what you can handle. This literally tears down the muscle so that it can be built up stronger and next time you can push a little more. And be built up stronger. In order to push more. And be built up stronger. The same is true of our spiritual lives- be it reproof, hard circumstances, working through beliefs we always had and realizing maybe they aren’t true or are maybe not aren’t complete, or whatever it is. Not that it comes from our own strength or ability to just “suck it up” or push through. No, strength comes from the Father. Still, it hurts. It’s hard. It is “not pleasant.” (Understatement, much?? ) We want nothing more than to be done with it as quickly as we can. But we “lift our drooping hands and strengthen our weak knees and make straight the paths for our feet so that what is lame may not be put out of joint but rather be healed.”
In essence, we don’t shrink back, but we trust and we move when we hear His voice. I wish I could say that since being here I have been faithful to not shrink back, but then that wouldn’t be me being real with you. It hurts to think about, but I praise Him for His grace and that His mercies are new every morning- because I need a lot of grace and mercy it seems like. I am still very young and I still have a so very much to learn about Him, but I am thankful for what He has revealed to me and am excited that even still, He walks with me and will continue to give me opportunities to love sacrificially and the strength to labor on. Oh, praise Him.
